No use to nothing

my heart
stood up at 10 o clock
to get a drink
stood up
next minute fell
not stuttered
just completely

damaged arm and leg
all down left side
there for 2 hours
couldn’t move
not frightened
just felt useless
remember the clock chiming

12 o clock

struggled to a chair
don’t remember much more
didn’t scare
wondered why
just stood up
then
completely fell

hope I get right again
feel you’ve got no use to nothing

I’m used to pain
started when I was a little girl
Rheumatic Fever
now I’ve arthritis
always get something
mother wrapped me up to much
had Scarlet Fever when I was 2
never right since

very good parents
put children first
very very determined

look around
see people far worse than yourself

worked during the war
war work
12 hour shifts
said I wasn’t strong enough to go in army
strong enough to stand for 12 hours
became an engineer
loved it we all did
a determination all the while



anon
October 2008

Photo © Lois Blackburn 2009