when I eat celery

childhood memories/memories of childhood
a happy home a very happy home
opposite
a small park
a tennis court and a bowling green
my father had a square racquet
he cut half the handle off
whacking that tennis ball:
I was only eight
I can go right back
to my first day at school, terrified
my first day I was terrified of course
20 kids with coloured chalks
the smell of chalks in the room
my first day; terror and success
later on: making
animals tigers dogs elephants
God must have guided my hand
I didn’t know I had any talent in that direction
but God must have been guiding my hand
the teacher rapped me she didn’t believe that I’d done it
I cried at the injustice
first day at school crying: my first day
I was a plump child
the girl stuck a pin in me to see if I would burst
I remember when I eat celery
coming home from dancing
home from dancing to a tea of celery
the smell, the taste of celery
a proper tea from home
jams and smells
jams and always cooking



Germany: my father
at 6 o clock in the garden
a lovely garden, fruits and everything
on Shabbas we’d go to the shul for a
wonderful childhood
when the nazis came it was all destroyed
smashed our home
threw everything in the street
we went into the fields when they came
my mother said we are alive it does not matter
we had to get out
we had to get out
to survive
incomplete living
dependent on the day
it wasn’t memory it was my life
England:
changed continents, changed schools
going to school a stranger
a day to day basis new experience
everybody has his or her own experience
I wasn’t the only one

always a governess
if we didn’t like them we had to get rid
my mother very kind, very strict
lots of rules: rules in the home
my father every morning a pony and trap
my father working in the small flower garden
he went every morning by horse
to see the workers
see the wheat fields with the red flowers

my wife and I came as refugees
the only way to get a permit was to work: domestic work
my knowledge of English was limited
my wife a cook to prepare the meals

a huge dining room, a huge lounge
madam goes to the dentist today, she won’t have any lunch
I knocked the gong and nothing was there for her
my wife misunderstood
I rang the gong again
my introduction to England

well I have a few memories
I suppose the most powerful is
my head against the wall where my parents slept
my father had come home and
there was a terrible noise and father had died
I was six

a powerful memory
I remember the garden more than the house
sit and read: a London garden
we had a plum tree
alternate years plums
other years a sticky gum on its bark
grapes in the garden a small summer house
in a London garden
in sight of the zoo you could see polar bears
and
animals tigers dogs elephants
God must have guided my hand
the wheat fields with the red flowers
my father working in the small flower garden
my father at 6 o clock in the garden
domestic work
childhood memories/memories of childhood
a happy home a very happy home
the smell, the taste of celery
each time we speak we remember something else

Collaborative Poem: Morris Feinmann Home
2007