now my genius has gone

the brain in its
skull-like maze
now my genius has gone
it’s difficult to say
describe everything, list everything

lost everything
(want it back)
can’t remember why I’m here
memory caught in a trap
it stiffens

spaghetti maze
fingers thick
disturbed at all times
keep building roads at the end of a whip
people say they know me

I wonder at the puzzle
memory caught in a trap
now my genius is some worthless song
I use a lever a little
and it comes back.

Group
speak poem
12-16 March 2010

Be patient

many patients
aren’t patient
if there’s waiting to be done
take your turn at

patience
nurses can’t give
everyone time
undivided

the vale of years turns
take turns to be patient, wiser
the main answer
what wound healed but by

patience visits
sits quiet with my own thoughts
I call myself
a quiet person

was a dressmaker
if a stitch went wrong
I set it right
in two words, two small words

Margaret Hargreaves

October 2009

my message is to you

hope is your life
together we
hope
each looks after each
friendly nurses speak
look for
hope is swift exchange
my tablets my routine
hope for this
take pills like new ideas

swallow
hope
I listen to children’s advice
swallow’s wings
get on with life’s hour
accept
strokes hearts bowels propaganda
each other
what journey you’re facing
and what hope

do you get?
(would you like to join our discussion?)
everyone’s lonely in their own
true journey
hope is swift
can’t take it out
can’t shove it away
we’re all
in the end
swallow’s wings.

Group
Cherry Tree
2009

O lovely walls

seven months sorrow
been seven months
(o lovely walls!) its been hectic
times seven

nurses change the speed

lively nurses
change beds, lives
coming to you bones groan
brain on top spine down the back
I don’t have time for please

change the speed of the day

doing you good
change your window speed
good-doers do-gooders
throw your body puking
sorrow eat my body

nurses change please

anonymous
Stepping Hill
2008

night pains

I feel tight

feel clempt closed

always thinking trying

nighttime terror couldn’t tell you

a bit of a trouble-ful night

pains

hospital comforts: the beds are alright

the nurses are alright

the specialist said, “I can operate but…”

furious winter is in our stars

all the time many a time

I m always trying to look up

a-wondering what

to think of life itself

a bit of a trouble-ful night

pains

they do damn good work

specialist saved my legs for me

he was practically dancing

hope is a lot of things

group

Cherry Tree

2007

parachute landing in jungle terrain

I’ve seen me whack
done me jumps
floating down Egypt Cyprus Malaya

that tattoo says in memory of Mitch
killed in Malay jungles
a tattoo that hurt me
I’ve killed and I’m not proud of it
(or they’d kill you
prisoner of war – whatcha gonna do?)

ever tried to pack a parachute?
bloody handfuls
like trying to get a bed into a pillowcase

they won’t let me out of here
told me straight I’m not for getting out
driven to die
very very very very
bored in the brain
so bored it’s ridiculous
bored to the ears

these wards are in lost time

landing in jungle terrain
we laugh
butterflies

what’ll we do after the war?
lost a lot of weight
don’t know if I’ll get a visitor
my wife died and I didn’t go to the funeral
I’d jump
to go as I want
even prisoners are allowed to
walk to the great door

parachute regiment I’d jump tomorrow
you worry til it cracks out
cracks out open and you’re floating

down
down
down

Albert Burrows
Cherry Tree
2007

Football

stanley matthews georgie best nobby stiles sammy much roger byrnes busby babes in packs in a set players 10 or 20 cigarettes on the back their age height history wifeswaps then in germany in munich early morn the takeoff

I do as best I can I do the journey from here to there is no different to any other journey more’s the difficulty is keeping your friends cos you cant get out the wheelchair

known as the munich crash the ground frosted fog photos of them on the runway matt busby sandy busby the son (good at spending money) when they emerged the babes were near unbeatable on £15 a week put edwards on he could cream the lot dog them clobber them sort em out

you cant get out the wheelchair and start getting angry telling the fellow where you want to go well lets say it does make you feel you’re not getting anywhere it’s just a question of administration

stanley matthews turned up at 8 in the morning running barefoot feels free blackpool sands (soak your feet in cold water you’ll walk a million miles) georgie best kidded the goalie banged it a brilliant shot but he done himself in daily brandy-soaked

you feel limited in the weight of this you’re not designing the journey the other person is I was an apprentice pro blackpool fc loved every minute gave back every penny

the footballs were heavier then leather soaked in rain describe a great god the best he was a tippler of everything two or three wives he had so many women over the weekend hundreds seen him train in the park a dangerous man a danger

you’ve got to be determined to stay alive otherwise this world will see you off falling into chaos somebody needs to mop the world up nurse sort the ends out I’m sat in a chair thinking literature I cant express god's fire in the head

re-match: duncan edward he was only 19 in munich on the runway play was awhile ago you’ll hear them you’ll hear them a mile away no problem just a trick of the foot.

Allan Whittaker, Frank Wigley

Cherry Tree Hospital

2007

football

stanley matthews georgie best nobby stiles sammy much roger byrnes busby babes in packs in a set players 10 or 20 cigarettes on the back their age height history wifeswaps then in germany in munich early morn the takeoff

I do as best I can I do the journey from here to there is no different to any other journey more’s the difficulty is keeping your friends cos you cant get out the wheelchair

known as the munich crash the ground frosted fog photos of them on the runway matt busby sandy busby the son (good at spending money) when they emerged the babes were near unbeatable on £15 a week put edwards on he could cream the lot dog them clobber them sort em out

you cant get out the wheelchair and start getting angry telling the fellow where you want to go well lets say it does make you feel you’re not getting anywhere it’s just a question of administration

stanley matthews turned up at 8 in the morning running barefoot feels free blackpool sands (soak your feet in cold water you’ll walk a million miles) georgie best kidded the goalie banged it a brilliant shot but he done himself in daily brandy-soaked

you feel limited in the weight of this you’re not designing the journey the other person is I was an apprentice pro blackpool fc loved every minute gave back every penny

the footballs were heavier then leather soaked in rain describe a great god the best he was a tippler of everything two or three wives he had so many women over the weekend hundreds seen him train in the park a dangerous man a danger

you’ve got to be determined to stay alive otherwise this world will see you off falling into chaos somebody needs to mop the world up nurse sort the ends out I’m sat in a chair thinking literature I cant express god's fire in the head

re-match: duncan edward he was only 19 in munich on the runway play was awhile ago you’ll hear them you’ll hear them a mile away no problem just a trick of the foot.

Allan Whittaker, Frank Wigley

Cherry Tree Hospital

2007

Souvenir

there are a lot of souvenirs in my head
raining
the water in lines
falling
the gutters
the line going
I remember everything
an older brother
he was running

the river
boots
running through

it was raining and I remember
the planes passing over
making a boom boom boom
I’d sit on the window sill
curtains drawn in case there was a bomb
watched the children through the curtains
on rainy days

head in a fog
frustrating, confusing, annoying

it was raining and I remember the ground
wet and muddy, I had to wear Wellingtons
splash splash splash
through the
raining and I remember
the old ladies couldn’t go out
so grandma and I went to the pub
to get them guinness

your head in a fog
horrible
because you have it in your mind
but what I remember is right

remember playing by the
river and my shoes falling off and being washed
away
(I didn’t get into trouble but the other kids did)
used to love lying in bed
listening to the rain pattering the window

it was raining and I remember I was
a little devil
when I was young, when it was raining
raining in Alexandria
lightening
and then, for a month no rain
then again, rain really bad
looking out through a window
and swimming far
the fruit of the beach
catch it and eat with a spoon
faraway, the fruit
when it was raining it was raining hard
there was lovely fruit
I was mad, I was a devil swimming
taking the fruit from the rock
the fruit from the sea, rezza

raining women’s voices

branches of trees and old tyres
being washed down
even the baby’s dummy
gutters on roofs overflowing
leaves and pieces of soil run down the walls
cats and dogs
want to get inside

what does it feel like to forget?
it can be confusing, frightening
especially if you’re in the rain
like
getting off a bus
when you don’t know where you are

it was raining and I remember
Gene Kelly singing in the rain
in a musical, a great musical
Gene Kelly dancing under an umbrella as he sang
Morecambe and Wise singing
the same
funny, I remember singing at school with the other children
‘rain, rain, go away, come again another day’
raining and sunshining
I remember seeing a rainbow
remember it poured most of this summer
remember splashing the puddles when I was
a child
getting very wet
having to change and
dry in front of the fire.

Fred, Patricia, Yolanda
11 September 2009

Stepping Hill Hospital at Night (after Vosnesensky)

coughing at night

other breathing at night

people tend

droning to sleep

quietly

nurses’

footsteps

low light faces

the television

an adventure

of dark blue glass

constant

quiet breath engine

in their beds

three or four

calmed

safe



people

moving that’s the thing

I want to hear

people

X-ray photos of the soul

lonely

speak to me with dark tongues

lone

night

yawning




Ralph Starmer and Keith Philips

Stepping Hill 
2009

Conch

many a time tea

on blackpool beach

day trips with me dad all the time

when he had time

blowing her nose

an excuse me lost at sea

in winter gardens - indoor gardens

that’s yours my love that music

fox trot waltz

a winter garden

fresh warm

stay the day

conch

it’s just the blood in your head

you can hear it rush

to shut

it’s rough

cough it up

an excuse me

scared the life out of me change the scene

sea rough

a garden a-flower

a tower

a walk many a time

asleep

me

shells

May Cocker, Rosamund Blackham and Mary Arrandale

Stepping Hill Hospital

2009

Coming into

Coming into hospital for the fifth time

coming into hospital for the fifth

hate to think of so many times

it’s a desperate thought

I don’t want to think it

get on and forget sadness

get on with it and remember only the

forget

who you’ve been with

where you’ve been you’re not yourself

I’m so glad that they come

I’m so glad that they come

I can’t say how often but they do

it’s action for yourself

to see someone

to see some with the same

perhaps the same difficulties

you are not alone

there are many people like you for better or worse

there are many people who like you

good people there are many

friends of myself friends of I

saw

my place

sat in my chair

saw my place sat in my chair

I can see so much from here

I wish

good

I can see I can hear.

Mary Arrandale

Stepping Hill Hospital

a locker

a locker is a sort of miniature you
haven’t much room on-ship
roll your mattress rope around
hammocks slung sausage-like

these curtain rails carrying

a coiled rope and a heaving line
panic at the dock everyone swearing
doesn’t bother me a cramped situation
eight fathoms for your morning wash

around the beds in the ward

they're a rough bloody outfit
on the frontline
some of the roughest buggers ever
I’ll take you all

remind me of

a good rough house in the pub
was a favourite occupation
thorough gentlemen
below decks

hammock rails

remind: dear me you don’t half meet characters
limbs and bits of heavy engineering
the place exploding
you hit the floor

the clews as they call em

undo them strings beg a kiss
the nurses
stealing sailors’
hatbands for ribbons


Allan Whittaker
Cherry Tree
2007

homemade scones

my daughter’s getting me somewhere
to live
it wasn’t easy
don’t fight allow it in
they’re looking after me all the time
is

a helpless helper
I see them everyday
feel I’m being looked after
my daughter will be down
one of the most important things
is

Angela Jenkins, Margaret Brown, Mary Murray
Cherry Tree
2009

Wheelchair

walking

an outlook

an outlet

your body don’t dilly dally

does what you tell

marbles on the way to school

for a long way flick it through

play for each others’ cowboys and indians

late at night

in the fields around farms

make dens of

long-seeming summers

in the 1940s

the first

thing is

to keep

little things adding

to a bigger step

on the fringe of farmed fields

bounded by the Mersey

we’d walk over the iron bridge

time working horses

the river a-flooded with ducks and geese

it’s all we had

kids walking the road home

was better frittered

what’s so good about sitting down?

if you’re going

for a walk

get your shoes and

go

Group

Cherry Tree 2009

wireless

a couple of operations

the prostrate region (nothing to look forward to)

nothing doing

nothing a lot of pain

look forward to talking to your wife

don’t watch the telly

don’t listen to the wireless

nothing I spose

dropping off to sleep

the fall of a sparrow

you do nothing you’re a nothing

absolute

your best plan is to go

(there he goes, off to the toilet

had a fall)

your outlook is nil

go to sleep don’t blame ya

married 65 years

keep your hand in pleasure

hold

real things

valuable qualities

but what can she do

she can’t look after me

is there anything? nothing?

annoys me this number of ill people

their chances are not good and mine are the same

and one of them shall not fall on the ground without

my wife catches my eye

Anonymous

Cherry Tree

2007

wireless

a couple of operations

the prostrate region (nothing to look forward to)

nothing doing

nothing a lot of pain

look forward to talking to your wife

don’t watch the telly

don’t listen to the wireless

nothing I spose

dropping off to sleep

the fall of a sparrow

you do nothing you’re a nothing

absolute

your best plan is to go

(there he goes, off to the toilet

had a fall)

your outlook is nil

go to sleep don’t blame ya

married 65 years

keep your hand in pleasure

hold

real things

valuable qualities

but what can she do

she can’t look after me

is there anything? nothing?

annoys me this number of ill people

their chances are not good and mine are the same

and one of them shall not fall on the ground without

my wife catches my eye

Anonymous

Cherry Tree

2007

GEORGE III

PUT THE CLOCKS BACK

it’s a timewarp here shortens the day wakeup wakeup alters everything breakfast-time doesn’t mean anything

SO THEYD WORK ASTRONOMICALLY

your jewelled stars are not allowed cut off from your possessions cant have any treasures only uniforms we are all tea-squeezers the refugee syndrome non-person things

PEOPLE SAID HE’D STOLEN TIME

things might not be worth much but it’s the story behind that gives value each of these people these subjects these things are things you can’t do without

GEORGE WENT MAD

I watch a lot of telly.

Ray West, Freida Brobart, Monica Smith

Cherry Tree 2009

grit

you first come in you’re sick and that slows you can’t be mithered grit me teeth and bear it grit me teeth and keep me head down

called up 1939 went to France Dunkirk had a bad time a bad time

driven to distraction by all the waste of time getting angry doesn’t help you got to somehow slip into a lower gear get through these long days

in a truck for cover

get up when the nurses start clattering early habit of a lifetime bed late after the noise of the medicine the nurses overworking I’m surprised how cheerful they keep

tried to get in the little boat trousers round my neck and the trousers floated away

if you’ve got a decent book get what exercise you can push this wheelchair up and down

people fighting to get on the boat

that’s one thing I never do – give in

and keep a smile on the faces of the nurses

you’ve got to make your pleasure – is there anything that pleases me? - yes everything - grit me teeth and grin

E Wooley
2008